well, i've been pretty much everywere...
situation... whattafuck
i have chosen this
damn
i wish i could drag everyone closer to me while i go up and down and around
best friends in sampa, friends in overseas, i sped such long months out, it's hard to come back in
keep it real, my friends, my love, my life, my work, family
i have no balls
i can't move out
i can't rent a flat, i hava to have people looking after me
i detest that in me
damn

shit
wassup
the cohabitator of mine pisses me off
why can't i love this person, do i love this person?
i should
i should
but today, and lately, i honestly haven't been able
i wake up, turn to the side and see this persons face, i freak, it's scary, i try to show some love, but it's way beyond, all i want is to be A-W-A-Y! very far! very far, miles away, another continent, but i know that, even then, i can't get away
i'm this been's toy, it's fun... has nothing else to do but piss me off, try to care too much
hell no
i have to put all this fucking anger i feel right now outside, or i'll explode, i mean, blow my head off

shit
wassup
the cohabitator of mine pisses me off
why can't i love this person, do i love this person?
i should
i should
but today, and lately, i honestly haven't been able
i wake up, turn to the side and see this persons face, i freak, it's scary, i try to show some love, but it's way beyond, all i want is to be A-W-A-Y! very far! very far, miles away, another continent, but i know that, even then, i can't get away
i'm this been's toy, it's fun... has nothing else to do but piss me off, try to care too much
hell no
i have to put all this fucking anger i feel right now outside, or i'll explode, i mean, blow my head off

danced my ass off
screwed my hips and my toes
i wanted to fid my baby
but he would never come

ok, no one invited
LOL

now I am so bored, it is saturday, suny, blue sky and i am netting 'cuz i have net' got the balls to face the world!
ohhhhhhhhhhhhh
ok
i have guts!
i'm going out!
i'll be fine

Yes! Fucked up

I've spent the day doing
n
o
t
h
i
n
g
shiiiiit
ok

is that suposed to be a good thing?
ops.. i didn't know

at least IA AMM SOOOOO HAAAAAAAAAPPYYYYYYY!!!!!!

I'v been reading, a lot
I've been thinking
not that much
I drank whine in rio, a good friend fell in love with me, i haven't fallen with him
damn
I smoked the best hash ever
ps: i don't smoke
that was new

new shit
life changes

l
i
f
e

c
h
a
n
g
e
s

temporarily

wish me luck

I met this dude in new years eve... he made love to me, one night.. yah now: the new year fuck
everyone does it
he was FUCKING AMAZING
and I never saw him again... until.... yesterday
I got red
hot
sugar
peper
sweaty
pumpin'
heartz jumpeeeeeeeeeen

we spoke
for a while
long phone call
he is suposed to call me
we'll have a coffe (fuck)
or lunch (fuck)
or just
fuck
hahahah
noooooooo
not that
i wanna give it a go ohhhhhhh yeppers!

he is shy
will he trully call?

.....
...
.........

I am waiting.. and I guess that right now he is
online... humnnnnn
I wish I know his hearts IP number so that i could flood it
hahaha
<---- I'm no hacker ok!


okokok
too damn crazy
time to sleeeeeep
sleep?
yeah
ok
sleep

off with who is off me

I'm fine, I'm fine
I have finally FORGOTEN MY EX-BOYFRIEND ( aka.. the man who used to consider me "a friend" ARRRRRGH)

OK, he is dead in my mind, I wrote him and email, telling e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g and he didn't answer it
fuck him stupid man

back in!

Yes, I'm back in..
leaving with mom is not that horrible anymore
now, thing is, I gotta figure, how to go through having dinner with this friend that is supposed to have a crush on a friend of mine, he is friend of my best frind and my friend, the one that had the crush, she is a controler, she carries a load of hate inside
i'm afraid, if i fall in oove with the friend's friend.. she will rip me off
daaaaaaamn!
fucken hard!

yah, love sucks sometimes
and btw, right now there is this guy talking to me through email, I've never seen him and he seems to be nice....
see how fucked up I am?

Not only about mom

Argh damn!
Why men are getting so scared!? shit! fuck! I just feel like braggin!
Why do I feel like I love this crazy workaholic dude that lives in other cowntry, this uptight american ass that is so cute I wanna scream! damn!
I then I suddently change my feelings and feel totally " ex-boyfriend free" for one day, and then, the next I feel like shit again
Why do I love that man
and do I really love him? is this love?
I dunno what the hell Love is
I guess that love i what I felt before
Now I feel other things, and among them, love
shitty thing is: now I'm more hurt than loved
exactly that: more hurt than loved
I wish I could write him everything, but I'm such a dumb fuck , I get paralized, in shock and lonely
ok, not so lonely, i have friends, i have dudes into me, but i'm not into them, I don't feel like checkin' them out.. i know they will get scared too..... and run
they run
they always do
but why can't i stop thinking about him
help!

No Fucking Space!

Speaking english is my refuge
It's the only space I have for scaping....... the lady that cohabitates with me can't understand it
Thank God!
I feel bad, I should be thankful for living like that, but yet... I have no other choice
I share my bed with her
ops... her bed.... damn
She is the one to give me shelter, at the same time I'm cofused between a couple of facts: is it her duty? to shelter me... or isn't it
if it isn't, then I feel like shit for complaining, but then again, if it is, I wish I could just scream : shut the fuck up and let me wake up in peace
have you figured it yet?
She is my mother.
This is the first chapter of: Living in my bag (aka going back to live with mom)